Top 10 Reasons Why
I hate IKEA
#10 These nuts are metric but this hex wrench is English, what the fuck??
#9 Every cinnabon I eat makes me look more like Oprah.
#8 Always a shock to get charged 60% tax at the register. Damn socialists.
#7 It's easier to get your car out of an impound lot on Staten Island than it is to get out of the Ikea parking lot.
#6 Those posters by Edward Hopper imitators make Thomas Kinkade look like Raphael.
#5 Every $1 hot dog I eat makes me look more like Dr. Phil.
#4 Getting home and realizing that this unpainted wooden cube contains 25¢ worth of lumbar.
#3 I feel like I'm inside the deadly topiary maze from The Shining.
#2 I can't breathe, I think I just choked on an umlaut.
#1 If you walk against the flow of those arrows on the floor, a nude scandinavian man covered in grease will jump out and tackle you.
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