Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Life In The Fast Lane by Rex Larry Champion
Sometimes guys stop me on the street and ask me "what's it like on the top?"
My answer is always simple: "It's better than where you are now, and it's better than you can ever imagine."
Maybe that sounds harsh. But it's not.
You see, I want you to be hungry. You'll never take it up a notch if you don't hunger for success.
Some guys hunger for food. I hunger for success.
Now that I'm at the top I can look down at all the puny nancy boys below, running around chasing their own tails.
Most of them will never take it up a notch because they're not hungry.
I thought about this for a long time and then I discovered something.
If you never had a burger before, you would never hunger for burgers.
And then the big secret came to me.
Most guys have never tasted success.
Most guys know something is missing from their lives, but they don't have any real hunger for success.
THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT SUCCESS IS, so they CAN'T hunger for it.
That's how this all got started.
As a supplement to the RL Champion Ultimate Turbo 20-Notch System™, I have decided to assemble a new guide.
Get ready for The RL Champion Guide To Life In The Fast Lane: The 21st Notch.
By sharing the lifestyle I have achieved for myself, I hope to give all of the nancy boys out there a taste of success.
Once guys taste my SUCCESS, they will forever HUNGER FOR SUCCESS.
Then all they need to do is buy the RL Champion Ultimate Turbo 20-Notch System™
If you follow this system, before long you'll be able to hang with THE BIG BOYS, and you too will learn to live life in the fast lane.
The RL Champion Guide To Life In The Fast Lane: The 21st Notch
Some guys walk to the breakfast table. I drive. As soon as I get out of bed in the morning, I take some supplements and then I hop into my Porsche and drive to my kitchen.
Once I'm there I don't eat just any old breakfast. Some guys eat coffee and donuts. I eat eggs and juice. Pretty basic you think, right? Well you haven't seen the way Rex Larry Champion does eggs. For one, I make sure to always have fresh egg laying hens in my kitchen. Store-bought eggs are full of girly hormones like estrogen and the protein isn't in it's most POTENT form. I always use fresh eggs from hens. Most guys cook their eggs and eat them, but I inject them. I always inject my eggs into my leg or buttocks muscle for maximum potency and performance. After I inject myself with eggs, I take some supplements and make some fresh juice. I have exotic fruit trees from the rain forrest in my kitchen and I always make fresh-squeezed juice. You have to juice it. Juice it out.
Once I'm done with breakfast, I pick a different car, usually my Lamborghini, and I drive to the bathroom for my morning dump. Because all of the food I eat is so potent, I usually need some extra help, so I take some more supplements to help me do my business. One time a salesman at Sears explained to me, the most important thing about shopping for a toilet is SIZE. Now that I'm successful, I have a toilet as big as a swimming pool. My bathroom is probably as big as your house. Some guys read when they're on the crapper, but I have live entertainment. The show changes every week. Last week I had Siegfried and Roy over but I had to fire them because they seemed a little bit too comfortable in my bathroom. Usually I'm in there for 45 minutes to an hour. Most guys use toilet paper, I use pure silk interlaced with gold thread. The gold helps me keep extra clean. Next I wash my hands in a waterfall.
Now it's time to WORK OUT!!!
I don't drive to the gym, the gym drives to me. The RL Champion Ultimate Turbo Max Ultra Custom Gym is on wheels and wherever it is in the world, it drives back and docks to my house at exactly 10am every day.
I warm up by doing 20,000 pushups while shouting "no excuses" as loud as I can.
Then it's time for the real workout. Most guys breathe regular air when they're working out. I have an oxygen tank hooked up with a special blend of maximum potency air molecules. Between sets I take more supplements and practice the visualization techniques described in the RL Champion Ultimate Turbo 20-Notch System™ I imagine the bulge in my mind and I really bulge it. Bulge it out. I always achieve maximum pumps in my workouts. I have mastered the technique of ultimate performance for ultimate results and ultimate satisfaction. I have 15 trainers on staff to motivate me while I lift and to spot for me. It takes 10 men to spot for me when I bench. I am a champion. Rex Larry Champion.
After I lift, I take some injections and I get a sports massage. Most guys only go for an hour or 90 minutes when they get a massage. I go for 5 hours. Whatever it is, whatever is going on, they've got to massage it. Massage it out. After my massage I take some supplements and I take a power nap. Most guys take their naps on a bed or on a couch. I go into the zero gravity levitation chamber and use powerful magnets to float in the air while I sleep. This allows me to achieve maximum results.
It's time to go to the office and get some work done. I take my helicopter or drive my Ferrari to the office. I work on the top floor of the tallest building in Santa Monica and I can see the ocean out my window. Most guys will never experience a view like this. I write an article or two for Writing Rendezvous, and meet with my sales manager to go over my numbers. Everyone on my sales team has been practicing the RL Champion Ultimate Turbo 20-Notch System™ and our numbers are shooting through the roof.
After work I have dinner. Most guys eat Black Angus or their wife's meatloaf. I fly in international chefs to prepare world class meals. Once the meal is complete, I instruct the chefs to load my meal into a special machine where it is compressed into pill form. Yesterday I had 6 pills of kobe beef and jumbo Australian lobster tail with white truffle butter. Putting the food into pill form saves me time and increases its potency and performance. Flavor is for nancy boys. It's all about maximum potency and performance.
After dinner I go to sleep. My bed is the size of a basketball court and I have 30,000 thread-count sheets specially made for me by NASA. My sheets even have my picture on it. Now how cool is that. How many guys get to have their own picture on their sheets? After I hit the hay, I still get up 3 or 4 times in the night to take supplements, but this doesn't disturb my sleep. I sleep like a baby becasue I know that I'm a champion. Rex Larry Champion. Most guys dream about other people's lives. When I dream, I dream about my own life. You have to dream it. Dream it out.
I hope you learned something, nancy boys.
I hope you are HUNGRY.
HUNGRY FOR SUCCESS.
Now that you have that hunger for success, it's time to go out and buy the RL Champion Ultimate Turbo 20-Notch System™
Remember, "Today you feel the pump, tomorrow you taste the glory. As yesterday falls to dust, your results surge through the clouds of forgotten memories of weakness if you believe you can achieve it. Achieve it out."