Saturday, April 7, 2007

Global War On Terror Sinks

(Washington) The House Armed Services Committee has decided to finally nix the annoying catch-phrase "The Global War on Terror", eliminating it from the 2008 defense authorization bill in favor of more specifically worded operations such as "the war in Afghanistan" and "the war in Iraq". While this move has many positive functions, it may be politically moot at this point.

Following September 11th, Americans consistently ranked the global war on terror as their #1 concern. Today, more than five years after 9/11, the nation's priorities appear to have changed. According to a new Sasquatch/RLC poll, the global war on terror has completely slipped from the top 10 list for the first time since 9/11.

Wars America cares about today, a ranking:

#1) The war on cellulite
#2) The war on personal consumption habits of people who speak publicly about global warming
#3) The war on that fat kid who keeps on stealing my school lunch
#4) The war in Iraq
#5) The war on homosexuals
#6) The war on performance enhancing drugs in professional sports
#7) The war on children who speak spanish
#8) The war on transfats
#9) The war on the history channel, probably WWI but I decided to watch Crank Yankers instead
#10) The war on those damn flag burning liberal traitors
#11) The global war on terror

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