Tuesday, April 10, 2007

**Exclusive** Gary Condit Throws Hat In Ring

Gary Condit made the formal announcement on his blog after filing with the FEC earlier today. "I'm In" he wrote in a short message addressed to friends and supporters.

Gary Condit (D-CA) served in the House of Representatives from 1989-2003 and was known for being one of the most conservative democrats in the House. Condit was handily defeated in his 2002 reelection bid after being investigated as a person of interest in the mysterious disappearance of Chandra Levy, a young intern whom he lied about and subsequently admitting to having an affair with. Chandra Levy's remains were found in a Washington DC park in May, 2002 and her death was declared a homicide. While a strong veil of suspicion remains, Condit was never named an official suspect and the case remains unsolved.

Condit's White House bid is sure to come as a shock to the political world where analysts considered his future to be about as bright as Mark Foley and Jim Traficant.

Writing Rendezvous has gained exclusive access to part of an unpublished interview set to come out next week.

"I'm not a perfect man" Condit told the Sacramento Bee "I may have done certain things that I regret. But it's time for this country to move forward. The working class people of this country don't miss Chandra Levy, they never met her, what they care about is affordable health care, the minimum wage, and a fair tax policy that taxes wealth over work. As president of the United States, the first thing I will do is disband the FBI, and then I will raise the minimum wage, repeal the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans, and I pledge to pass a comprehensive bill guaranteeing health care for all Americans which includes a package to provide free prescription drugs for our seniors."

Writing Rendezvous correspondent Harry The Partridge caught up with Condit in the parking lot and asked him a pointed question before pooping on his car. "That's a very ambitious agenda you have there, Mr. Condit, don't you think you'll have trouble getting congress on board to support your plan?"

"Oh, they'll be on board, or else." A wild-eyed Condit snarled as he ducked into his car.

If Gary Condit does beat the odds, he will certainly not be the first politician to survive lethal scandal. Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-MA) weathering Chappaquiddick would seem the most notable analogue, but does Gary Condit have the Kennedy touch? Only time will tell.


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