Monday, October 18, 2010

Zombie Update

"I have been reading the morning paper. I do it every morning--knowing well that I shall find in it the usual depravities and basenesses and hypocrisies and cruelties that make up civilization, and cause me to put in the rest of the day pleading for the damnation of the human race. I cannot seem to get my prayers answered, yet I do not despair." - Mark Twain

Knowing that Mark Twain would be watching the train wreck too makes it somewhat easier for me to confess to visiting the sordid world of Matt Drudge from time to time.

Now that my embarrassed and admittedly feeble apologia for reading the Drudge Report is out of the way (I still feel dirty, ok?), I can get to the point.

Drudge ran these pictures today:

So now that the [it's painful to say it, but the, ugh,] mainstream press, has caught on to what we have been reporting since 2007, will the public finally start taking the Zombie threat seriously?

Sasquatch is doubtful. "People expect Matt Drudge to be painfully juvenile so the impact of the message is diminished. In the wham-bang age of web 2.0 and the 24/7 news cycle it's easy for anything and everything to get lost in an ocean of white noise. Say there was an important piece of news, I mean really important, like life on Earth was going to be destroyed, would anyone care or notice? Oh wait, that is today's news.

As much as I want to dwell on the fact the Barak Obama is in fact a zombie, we must put things in perspective now. Humans are destroying life on Earth. As a Sasquatch, this comes as no surprise to me, but it is horrifying nonetheless. My current habitat is a suite at Caesar's, but if humans continue to recklessly destroy species, the Earth's fragile ecosystem may no longer support the shrimp and cocktail sauce I ate just a moment ago, and so I may for the first time come to face a larger danger than poaching. The human race may yet get the damnation Mark Twain prayed for. You don't want to see a Sasquatch without his cocktail shrimp."

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