WTF

Protest sign depicting Mubarak as Hitler, Satan and.... The Laughing Cow??

Breaking News: Putin Hits The Jackpot?

Aladdin's Castle (Sasquatch Wire) Vladimir Putin just won 500 tickets at Skee Ball. The de facto Russian dictator expressed momentarily delight before discovering he would need an additional 64,500 tickets to afford the glistening iPod Nano locked away in the arcade’s display case. Unsatisfied with the choices of a Chinese finger trap and an apple flavored Jolly Rancher, Putin traded the remaining 15,000 Rubles in his wallet for more tokens in hopes he could at least end the day with a Beanie Baby or at bare minimum, a Spiderman Pez dispenser. Russian expert Sasquatch warns the frustrated leader may resort to KGB tactics and return to the site after dark with plastic explosives to get that damned iPod.

Putin Midlife Crisis Update

Again, sometimes words are not needed.

Six year old trick or treater:

"I'm a clone"

In another town I might have had to ask "don't you mean clown?"

Halloween Bells By Edgar Allen Poe

Hear the shrieking of the bells

Halloween Bells!

Mean Bells

Make you scream bells

What a world of fright as you're hung by your lapels

Upside-down above a flaming cauldron

Of your enemy's delight

Their vibration steals your breath

Their gleeful mocking tone

Toasts your rendezvous with death

Oh, the bells, bells, bells!

Litter gloomy solemn air with the ramparts of doom

Yet all is not lost for there's redemption in this room

As ghouls, angelic ghouls?

Avulse the flesh from the bones of John Tesh

Wondrous Bells!

Halloween Bells!

Don't mope bells

There's still hope that your lightly used soul sells

To the highest ebay bidder with perfect feedback

Wall Street Bells!

Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,

The nightmare is as bad as it seems

As the ghouls hoard baskets of disembodied dreams

In their closets just like Guidos stock hair gels

So forewarn the bells

Gloomy bells!

If salvation is your goal

Hurry because time is short

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock

Place a put option on your soul

Only you can't afford the premium

Now the bells bring on delirium

Broadcasting your demise at their symposium

Auctioning your organs to thieving swine

For cheap

For your parts are more worthless than their sum

Your strutting fretting petty drama is drowned out

By the cackling laughing hum

Of the bells, bells, bells -
The gleeful laughing of the bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells

The haunting and the hating of the halloween bells

HAPPY ALL HALLOW'S EVE

There have always been the haves and the have-nots.

It’s a tale as old as time.

I’m not going to get all weepy-eyed about it.

If our positions were reversed, they’d do the same thing to me!

Probably even worse!

In fact, they owe me a debt of gratitude!

A debt of gratitude for showing RESTRAINT for a man in my position!